“People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crouch.”

“Some of us have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car. But, a lot of people, that's their story. Good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you're that pissed that so many others had it good.”

“I’m drownin here and your describing the water!”

“What if this is as good as it gets?”

“Where do they teach you to talk like this? In some Panama City Sailor wanna hump-hump bar, or is it getaway day and your last shot at his whiskey? Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.”