Skinny Like An Angel

"Where's my shrimp? Where's my can of shrimp?"

  Fuck! Are they stupid or something? They know that's mine. "Mom!"

  "What?!"

  Sounds like she's coming from her bedroom. There she is. "Where is my can of shrimp?"

  "What can of shrimp?"

  "My can of shrimp! That I bought last night."

  "In the cupboard probably."

  Ugh. "Where is that shit-eating husband of yours? He ate it, I know he did."

  "In the TV room."

"Did you eat my fuckin' can of shrimp? I know you did."

  "I ate a can of shrimp."

  "You ate MY can of shrimp, you fucker! I bought it, you know I did. I told you."

  "Oh, well I forgot."

  I hate him so much. I grab a handful of potpurri to throw at him because I hate him so much.

  "Are you fucking serious?"

  He walks over to me and grabs my shirt. He says words to me but I can't hear them because the bum-spit spewing out of his mouth onto my face is making me want to kill myself. I chop his lizard arms down from my shirt and run into the kitchen. I wait there for him a minute because he banged his knee on the doorway. He gets into the kitchen and looks at me like he doesn't know what to do. I want to fight him outside. "I want to fight you outside." I turn and go out of the front door. The sun is brighter than I thought. Hotter. He walks out after me. I position myself across from him on the grass and before he can puss out cause I know he will, I run at him. After I tackle him, he throws my shoulders off of him and slams them onto the ground. My head hits a little bit of the concrete. I already knew his arms were pretty strong but that's about it because he's skinny and he's getting old. I kick him as he tries to get up so I can get up first. When he does get up I send a chop for the side of his stomach. It hits, but at the same time as he slaps me in the side of my head. I back away from him to regroup and plan my next attack. There's a small angel/garden gnome sitting in the dirt. It's skinny like an angel and has a pointy hat like a gnome. It's a good weapon. I run over to it, pick it up, point it at him and make my first slow move toward him. He tells me Stop, idiot.

Continued...