April 30, 1861

We have been in war for only 18 days and I'm already missing my family and my Lucy she will be two now I hope she is not being a hand full for my mother. I wonder how old she will be when I get back from the war and how beautiful she will be. I hope she still remembers me. My life as a war nurse is stressful having to hear the screams of the solders that are getting their legs amputated and the moans of the ones that are sick.not to mention the sounds of my own stomach growling because the rations of food are too small. Also the weekly shower are not going to work for the smells of dead men sickens me. Although it is only been a week and shall we are already fighting in the war every second I have to wonder is this the day I die because the confederacy shoots a cannonball at the camp or they attack at night, or even wondering what my husband is doing fighting for us or saving someone to get back at camp. Everyday I wonder will I be a widow after this is over or if my daughter will not have a mother or a father. But I have to hope for the best and have faith in my God that he doesn't call me up to visit him. I will write you again during lunch someone has called for assistance.

I'm back it is lunch I have sat beside my friend Emily me and her had just got done with two soldiers that had to get their legs amputated hearing the screams of him will haunt me tonight. We had one die because he was found later than the others. His name was joe he was only 23 he was the same age as my husband it made me think, but I told myself not to think about it. I will write to you tommrow I'm busy with a new load.