Dairy 5

January 4, 1862

It is now a new year we celebrated New Year's Eve the other night. We took our minds off of the war and the death and celebrated the birth of our nation. If we were at home we would usually have a group of our closest friend and have a big party. We would eat chicken or steak and some type of side and eat cake for the children but as soon as we put the children to bed the drinks would come out we would play cards and be merry. To be at one of those parties would make my day. Onto another subject injuries we have had almost no injuries this week and Jesse hasn't had to fight this week so I don't have to worry about him this week we have grown closer everyday that passes it think it is because of the war and the stress of the fact that he is fighting he cherishes every minute he can get with me. We sometimes just sit and talk or I read to him, to take his Mind of off of the war. He has always said he loves me to read to him he says it helps him relax, I think this war is slowly killing him it is like he is always on war duty. He can't relax unless i do something or if something happens he jumps at the smallest thing. I'm beginning to create a herb tea from the flowers and herbs outside of the camp. To help relax and go to sleep.i also believe that that the war is taking a toll on me too I have trouble sleeping and staying asleep. I have dreams of the soldiers that are in pain me trying to help them and they always die. I always wake up after that because the scream and me crying. Another dream is me and Jesse dying then I see Lucy and mother crying at her house holding the blanket I made. I will write later another load of men came in.